How to Create Your Future…
Cherishing Each Moment...and the Conversation You MUST Have
Daily affirmations. LOA (Law of Attraction). Manifesting. There are countless books, celebrities (I remember Oprah’s foray into these subjects), and “internet sensations” that talk about how, creating the life you want, is a rather simple set of steps. While the steps may be simple, the work is HARD. VERY. HARD. And that work requires a certain degree of grittiness that most people (IMHO) either, don’t possess, or aren’t willing to cultivate over time – with grittiness falling victim to a varying degree of “instant gratification” that is rampant in our culture, and mostly, in our minds.
How many of us have begun the process of “creating the life I want”, followed the prescribed “simple steps”, and never achieved that goal? Counting me? Probably as close to “everyone” as any mathematical calculation would substantiate. Here’s a few key suggestions to get off on the right foot, including the MOST IMPORTANT STEP you can take: having a long conversation with the person most important to this journey – YOU.
1. Follow the leaders. If you are a reader of Dr. Stephen Covey you know that the first two of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are “Habit 1: Be Proactive” followed by “Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind”. Being “proactive” and having “the end (your manifested reality) in mind” are what these simple steps are all about and what the good Dr. spent years studying and documenting.
2. Make a habit…of making positive habits. Like any lasting change, in order to reach our manifested reality, the by-product of grittiness simply involves creating a habit (or set of habits). Despite prior conventional wisdom, recent research led by a team at the University College London have uncovered that it takes an average of 66 days to create a habit. Consistently focusing on what is resonating with what you “feel” about achieving your manifested reality, both at the onset of your journey and during your journey, is critical. How do you know what does and does not resonate with you? Therein lies the most important step to take…
3. Have ongoing conversations with your “self”. Remember: YOU are the ONLY person guaranteed to be on the journey to your manifested reality. So, you need to have a really special, honest, and loving relationship with yourself and that begins with a positive dialogue and consistently-positive “self-talk”. Words, just like actions, have energy attached to them, and the words we choose, create the energy we experience. Here are a few highlights from a recent talk I had with my “self” as I acknowledged some limitations I’d created that kept positive energy from reaching me and limited my ability to problem-solve and develop new programs for my clients.
Me: Hi There. It’s me. We need to talk.
Self: I’m always here. What’s going on?
Me: I have been REALLY beating myself up lately about a bunch of things and I find myself being fearful. There are things I want to express to others, problems I want to solve, and projects I want to start that really are aligned with who I am and what I want to do – all of which I’m not doing quite yet in my life.
Self: You know I love you and will support you - especially since I know you’ve put a lot of thought into these things. And these are not bad things – you want to help people to be better versions of themselves.
Me: Yes, I do. I just keep thinking of the past – mistakes I’ve made, promises that I’ve made to myself and others, and stuff like that. I feel like I need to clean things up before I move forward.
Self: Well, first, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You can’t change the past, and you know it. You can only take the lessons you learned and take positive steps in the current moment. Secondly, and most importantly, you need to accept yourself and your “humanness”. If it would make you feel better, simply tell those that you love that this is what you are going through. Being vulnerable to those that love you unconditionally can be very cathartic. You realize that you can love yourself unconditionally just as much, or more, than they do. It’s not a competition, though!
Me: I don’t do what you have suggested, here, nearly as often as I deserve. I need to learn to just “accept” everything – the current moment, that I’m here and happy (or not) by choice – and not think too far backwards or forwards. I’m going to start with this better mindset NOW!!!
Self: That’s perfect. All you have is “now”. AND I am always here. Even if you don’t feel as though you can have a loving conversation with yourself, you can, at any time and over and over again – as much and as often as you want. I love you and I am always here for you.
Along with simply believing and taking the above action steps, this conversation with my “self” made me realize that my journey to my manifested reality is not only possible, it’s LIKELY with a consistent and positive approach to my choices, my challenges and my aspirations. I trust that you, too, can take the proper first steps on your journey, and stay engaged and in deep, meaningful conversations with the most important person that can help you in your journey – YOU!!